Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex Kissing Me? The Spiritual Truth
Last Updated: November 2025 | Reading Time: 12 minutes
Introduction: When Your Ex Won’t Leave Your Dreams
Have you woken up confused, guilty, or emotionally drained after dreaming about your ex kissing you? You’re scrolling through your phone at 3 AM, wondering: “Why do I keep dreaming about my ex kissing me?” or “Does this mean I still have feelings for them?”
Take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and you’re definitely not going crazy.
Dreams about ex-partners kissing you are one of the most common dream experiences reported by people worldwide. In fact, studies show that over 60% of people dream about their ex-partners at some point after a breakup, and kissing dreams are among the most frequent scenarios.
But here’s the truth that most dream interpretation articles won’t tell you: These dreams are rarely about your ex. They’re almost always about YOU.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore the deep spiritual meaning behind these dreams, what your subconscious is trying to tell you, and most importantly—how to find peace and closure.
Table of Contents
- Understanding Why We Dream About Exes
- The Spiritual Meaning of Kissing in Dreams
- What It Means When Your Ex Kisses You in a Dream
- Different Types of Ex Kissing Dreams and Their Meanings
- Psychological vs. Spiritual Interpretation
- Are You Still in Love? How to Know the Difference
- What If You’re in a New Relationship?
- Soul Ties and Karmic Connections
- How to Stop Dreaming About Your Ex
- Healing Practices and Spiritual Cleansing
Understanding Why We Dream About Exes
Before we dive into the specific meaning of kissing dreams, it’s crucial to understand why ex-partners appear in our dreams at all.
The Science Behind Ex Dreams
Dreams are your brain’s way of processing:
- Unresolved emotions and unfinished business
- Deep-rooted memories stored in your subconscious
- Current life stressors that remind you of past experiences
- Emotional needs that aren’t being met in your present life
According to dream psychology experts, the people who appear in our dreams are often symbolic representations rather than literal desires to reconnect with that person.
Why Exes Specifically?
Your ex-partner represents:
- A significant emotional experience in your life timeline
- Lessons you learned (or still need to learn)
- Parts of yourself you connected with during that relationship
- Emotional patterns that are resurfacing in your current life
Key Insight: If you dated someone for several years, they became deeply embedded in your neural pathways. Your brain doesn’t just “delete” them after a breakup—it continues processing that relationship for months or even years afterward.
The Spiritual Meaning of Kissing in Dreams
In spiritual dream interpretation, a kiss is never just a kiss. It carries profound symbolic meaning.
Universal Symbolism of Kissing
Across cultures and spiritual traditions, kissing represents:
✨ Communication and Connection
- Kissing requires two mouths coming together
- Symbolizes the need to express something unspoken
- Represents a desire for emotional or spiritual union
💫 Energy Exchange
- In many spiritual practices, kissing is seen as an exchange of life force energy
- The lips are considered energetic portals
- A dream kiss can indicate spiritual energy being transferred or released
🔮 Intimacy and Vulnerability
- Represents a desire for deep emotional connection
- Symbolizes trust and openness
- Can indicate a need for self-intimacy and self-acceptance
❤️ Reconciliation and Healing
- Often represents forgiveness (of yourself or others)
- Can symbolize making peace with the past
- May indicate emotional wounds seeking closure
What Makes Ex Kissing Dreams Different?
When the kiss involves an ex-partner specifically, the spiritual meaning becomes layered with:
- Past relationship energy that still needs processing
- Karmic lessons that haven’t been fully integrated
- Soul contracts that may be completing or evolving
- Shadow work around intimacy, trust, or self-worth
What It Means When Your Ex Kisses You in a Dream
Now let’s get to the heart of the matter: What does it actually mean when you dream about your ex kissing you?
The 7 Most Common Spiritual Meanings
1. Unresolved Emotional Energy
This is the most common reason for ex kissing dreams.
What’s Happening:
- You have lingering emotions that haven’t been fully processed
- There’s unfinished business or things left unsaid
- Your soul is working through the emotional residue of the relationship
Signs This Is Your Situation:
- The dream feels emotionally charged
- You wake up feeling confused or upset
- The breakup was recent (within the last 6-12 months)
- You didn’t have proper closure
Spiritual Lesson: Your subconscious is creating a space for you to process and release these emotions in a safe environment—your dream world.
2. Soul Ties and Energetic Cords
From a spiritual perspective, intense relationships create energetic connections between two people that don’t automatically dissolve when the relationship ends.
What Soul Ties Are:
- Spiritual or energetic bonds formed through intimacy
- Can be healthy (based on love) or unhealthy (based on trauma bonding)
- Continue to link two souls even after physical separation
Signs You Have a Soul Tie:
- You dream about your ex frequently and vividly
- You can “feel” their emotions or energy
- You experience strong unexplained emotions when thinking about them
- The relationship was extremely intense or passionate
Why You’re Dreaming of Them Kissing You: The kiss represents the active energetic connection that still exists between you two. Your soul is either:
- Working to release this tie
- Processing the lessons from this connection
- Experiencing the other person’s energy reaching out to you
3. Missing Qualities You Lost
Here’s a perspective shift: Your ex may represent parts of yourself you lost touch with during or after the relationship.
Common Examples:
- If your ex was adventurous → You might be missing excitement in your life
- If your ex was emotionally expressive → You might need to reconnect with your feelings
- If your ex made you feel confident → You might be experiencing low self-worth
- If your ex was passionate → You might be craving more passion in your current life
The Kiss Symbolizes: A reunion with these lost aspects of yourself. It’s your soul calling you back to wholeness.
Action Step: Ask yourself: “What positive qualities or experiences did I associate with my ex? How can I cultivate those in myself now?”
4. Current Relationship Dissatisfaction
If you’re currently in a relationship and dreaming about your ex kissing you, it’s usually not about wanting your ex back—it’s about something missing in your present relationship.
What Your Dream Might Be Saying:
- You’re missing emotional intimacy
- Physical passion has decreased
- You feel unappreciated or taken for granted
- Communication has broken down
Important Note: This doesn’t mean you should break up with your current partner or that you’re “cheating emotionally.” It means your subconscious is flagging an area that needs attention.
5. Fear of Vulnerability
Sometimes, dreaming about an ex kissing you is your mind’s way of keeping you emotionally safe by romanticizing the past instead of risking intimacy in the present.
Signs This Applies to You:
- You’re single and avoiding dating
- You compare new potential partners to your ex
- You idealize your past relationship despite it ending
- You’re afraid of being hurt again
The Spiritual Message: Your dream is actually showing you that you’re holding yourself back from new love because you’re still emotionally hiding in the past.
6. Karmic Lesson Completion
In spiritual traditions, some relationships are believed to be karmic partnerships—relationships that exist to teach us specific life lessons.
What Karmic Dreams Mean: If you’re dreaming about your ex kissing you years after the breakup, it could indicate:
- You’re finally learning the lesson that relationship was meant to teach you
- The karmic cycle is completing
- You’re ready to release this soul contract
How to Recognize a Karmic Dream:
- The dream feels significant or prophetic
- You wake up with sudden clarity about the relationship
- You feel a sense of peace or resolution afterward
- The dream marks a turning point in your emotional healing
7. Your Ex Is Thinking About You (Spiritual Perspective)
Some spiritual practitioners believe that when you dream vividly about someone, especially in intimate scenarios, they may be thinking about or energetically reaching out to you.
Controversial but Common Belief:
- The kiss represents their energy/thoughts coming to you
- They may be missing you or regretting the breakup
- Your souls are communicating on a subconscious level
Skeptical Take: While this is a popular spiritual interpretation, it’s important to remember that not every dream has external metaphysical causes. Most dreams reflect our own inner world rather than external psychic connections.
Different Types of Ex Kissing Dreams and Their Meanings
Not all kissing dreams are created equal. The context, emotions, and type of kiss significantly change the interpretation.
1. Passionate, Romantic Kiss
Dream Scenario: The kiss is intense, loving, and wanted by both parties.
Spiritual Meaning:
- If you enjoyed it: You’re longing for emotional or physical passion in your current life
- If you felt conflicted: You’re struggling between honoring your past and embracing your future
- If it felt “right”: You may have unresolved feelings or be idealizing the relationship
What to Do: Examine what’s missing in your current life—romance, excitement, deep connection—and find healthy ways to fulfill those needs.
2. Unwanted or Forced Kiss
Dream Scenario: Your ex is kissing you, but you feel uncomfortable, trapped, or don’t want it.
Spiritual Meaning:
- You’re still dealing with violation of boundaries from the relationship
- You feel energetically invaded by memories of them
- You’re processing unhealed trauma from the relationship
- You have unresolved anger or resentment
What to Do: This dream is calling for serious healing work, possibly with a therapist. Consider cord-cutting rituals and boundary-setting practices.
3. Goodbye Kiss
Dream Scenario: The kiss feels final, sad, or bittersweet—like a farewell.
Spiritual Meaning:
- Your subconscious is ready to let go
- You’re achieving emotional closure
- This represents a spiritual release of the relationship
- Your soul is saying goodbye to this chapter
What to Do: Honor this as a positive sign of healing. Consider writing a goodbye letter (you don’t have to send it) as a ceremonial release.
4. Public Kiss (In Front of Others)
Dream Scenario: You’re kissing your ex in front of friends, family, or your current partner.
Spiritual Meaning:
- You’re dealing with shame or guilt about the past
- You fear judgment from others about your past choices
- You’re struggling with public identity vs. private feelings
- You have unintegrated aspects of your past self
What to Do: Work on self-acceptance and releasing the need for external validation.
5. Kiss That Leads to Reconciliation
Dream Scenario: The kiss leads to getting back together in the dream.
Spiritual Meaning:
- If the breakup was recent: You’re not ready to let go yet (and that’s okay)
- If it’s been years: You’re seeking closure or resolution, not necessarily the person
- If you’re unhappy currently: You’re romanticizing the past as an escape
What to Do: Distinguish between genuinely wanting that person back versus wanting what they represented (security, love, excitement).
6. Kiss With No Emotion
Dream Scenario: The kiss happens but you feel nothing—it’s flat, empty, or robotic.
Spiritual Meaning:
- You’ve successfully healed from the relationship
- Your subconscious is testing your emotional detachment
- The relationship no longer holds energetic charge for you
- You’re ready to move forward fully
What to Do: Celebrate this! It’s one of the best signs that you’ve processed and released this connection.
Psychological vs. Spiritual Interpretation
It’s valuable to understand both perspectives to get a complete picture of your dream.
Psychological Perspective (Freudian & Jungian)
Freudian Interpretation:
- Dreams fulfill unconscious wishes
- An ex kiss dream represents repressed desire
- May indicate sexual frustration or unmet needs
Jungian Interpretation:
- Your ex represents an archetype (the Lover, the Hero, the Shadow)
- The dream is about integrating rejected parts of yourself
- Represents the anima/animus (the unconscious opposite-gender aspect of your psyche)
Modern Psychology:
- Memory consolidation: Your brain is filing away relationship memories
- Emotional regulation: Processing feelings through dreams
- Cognitive rehearsal: Practicing emotional scenarios in a safe space
Spiritual Perspective (New Age & Traditional)
Energy Work View:
- Addresses chakra blockages (especially heart chakra)
- Recognizes energetic cords that need cutting
- Sees dreams as soul communication
Karmic/Past Life View:
- Some souls have contracts to complete
- You may have past life connections with your ex
- The dream represents karmic balancing
Shamanic Perspective:
- Dreams are visits to other realms
- Your ex might be a spirit guide in disguise
- The kiss is a power transfer or healing transmission
Which Interpretation Is Right?
Both can be true simultaneously. The most empowering approach is to:
- Acknowledge the psychological reality of your emotions
- Remain open to spiritual insights
- Focus on what serves your healing and growth
Are You Still in Love? How to Know the Difference
This is the million-dollar question: “Does dreaming about my ex kissing me mean I still love them?”
Signs You May Still Have Feelings:
❤️ Emotional Indicators:
- You feel genuinely happy in the dream
- You wake up longing for them
- You regularly check their social media
- You compare every new person to them
- The breakup was recent (less than 6 months ago)
- You fantasize about reconciliation while awake
❤️ Behavioral Indicators:
- You reach out to them or mutual friends for updates
- You’re not interested in dating anyone else
- You keep meaningful items from the relationship
- You create “accidental” opportunities to run into them
❤️ Physical Indicators:
- Your body has a stress response when you think about them
- You feel physically drawn to places you went together
- You experience anxiety or panic thinking about them with someone else
Signs You’re NOT Still in Love (Even If You Dream About Them):
✅ You’re processing, not pining:
- The dreams are sporadic, not constant
- You feel neutral or slightly uncomfortable in the dream
- You’re happy and fulfilled when awake
- You can talk about them without emotional charge
- You wish them well but have no desire to reconnect
✅ The dream is symbolic:
- Your ex represents a quality, not themselves
- The dream highlights what you need now, not what you miss
- You wake up grateful for your current life
- You can identify what the dream is teaching you
✅ You’re actively healing:
- You’re in therapy or doing personal development work
- You’re dating others without comparing them
- You’ve forgiven yourself and your ex
- You can see the relationship objectively (both good and bad)
The Gray Area: Nostalgia Is Not Love
It’s entirely possible to:
- Miss aspects of the relationship without wanting it back
- Feel affection for your ex without being in love
- Be nostalgic about good times without wanting to recreate them
- Dream intimately about them without it meaning anything significant
Remember: Your brain created strong neural pathways with this person. Those pathways don’t disappear overnight—they fade gradually. Dreams are part of that fading process.
What If You’re in a New Relationship?
Dreaming about an ex kissing you while you’re in a new relationship can trigger intense guilt and confusion. Let’s address this directly.
First: You Are NOT Cheating
Dreams are not choices. You cannot control your subconscious. Having an intimate dream about an ex is:
- Not the same as infidelity
- Not a sign you’re with the wrong person
- Not something to feel guilty about
- Extremely common (over 50% of people in relationships report this)
What The Dream Might Actually Mean:
1. Comparison Mode
Your brain is naturally comparing your current relationship to your past to evaluate satisfaction and compatibility.
Questions to ask:
- What needs are being met now that weren’t met before?
- What needs were met before that aren’t met now?
- Is this comparison fair and realistic?
2. Attachment Style Activation
Your ex may represent an attachment style you’re defaulting to:
- Anxious attachment: Dreaming of ex when you feel insecure in current relationship
- Avoidant attachment: Dreaming of ex when current relationship is getting too serious
- Disorganized attachment: Confusing dreams that reflect conflicted feelings about intimacy
3. Communication Needs
The kiss symbolizes something you need to communicate to your current partner:
- More physical affection
- Deeper emotional conversations
- Quality time together
- Rekindling passion or romance
What to do: Instead of feeling guilty, use the dream as data. What is it highlighting about your needs?
4. New Relationship Integration
Early in a new relationship, your brain is reorganizing its emotional filing system. Dreams about exes during this time are:
- Your mind’s way of “closing old files”
- Processing where the new person fits in your life
- Comparing emotional experiences to make sense of the new relationship
This is healthy and normal.
Should You Tell Your Partner?
Short answer: It depends.
Tell them if: ✅ You have an openly communicative relationship ✅ They’re secure and won’t misinterpret the dream ✅ You need support processing confusing feelings ✅ The dream is causing you genuine distress
Don’t tell them if: ❌ They’re already insecure about your ex ❌ It will cause unnecessary hurt without benefit ❌ It was a one-time, meaningless dream ❌ You’re using it to create distance or drama
Alternative: Talk to a therapist or trusted friend instead.
Soul Ties and Karmic Connections
Let’s go deeper into the spiritual concept of soul ties—one of the most powerful reasons why exes continue appearing in dreams.
What Are Soul Ties?
Definition: A soul tie is a spiritual or energetic bond formed between two people through:
- Physical intimacy
- Emotional vulnerability
- Shared trauma
- Intense spiritual experiences
- Long-term commitment
Types of Soul Ties:
- Godly/Healthy Soul Ties:
- Based on mutual love and respect
- Encourage growth and spiritual development
- Feel peaceful and supportive
- Example: Deep friendships, healthy marriages
- Ungodly/Unhealthy Soul Ties:
- Based on trauma bonding or codependency
- Keep you stuck in the past
- Feel draining or obsessive
- Example: Toxic relationships, affairs, manipulative bonds
How Soul Ties Manifest in Dreams
When you have a soul tie with an ex, dreams often feature:
- Intense physical or emotional interaction (like kissing)
- Recurring scenarios with the same person
- Feeling their presence even when they’re not visible in the dream
- Emotional hangovers that last for hours or days after waking
Why the kiss specifically? Kissing in soul tie dreams represents:
- The active energetic connection between you
- Energy transfer that’s still occurring
- Your soul’s recognition of the bond
- The need for energetic separation or completion
Signs You Have an Unhealthy Soul Tie:
⚠️ You can’t stop thinking about them despite wanting to move on ⚠️ You feel their emotions or sense their energy from afar ⚠️ You’re stuck in patterns from that relationship in new relationships ⚠️ You have recurring dreams featuring them ⚠️ You feel energetically drained when thinking about them ⚠️ You idealize the relationship despite it being unhealthy ⚠️ You resist new connections because you’re still tied to them
How to Break Unhealthy Soul Ties
If you recognize you have an unhealthy soul tie with your ex, here’s how to break it:
1. Cord Cutting Meditation
This powerful visualization technique helps sever energetic connections.
Simple Cord Cutting Practice:
- Sit comfortably and close your eyes
- Visualize your ex standing in front of you
- Notice energetic cords connecting your bodies (often at heart, throat, or solar plexus)
- Visualize Archangel Michael or a loving guide with a sword of light
- Watch as they cut the cords between you
- See the cords dissolving and the energy returning to each of you
- Visualize both of you surrounded in healing light
- Say: “I release you with love. I am free, and you are free.”
- Thank your guide and open your eyes
Repeat this: Once daily for 7-10 days or until you feel a shift.
2. Forgiveness Work
Soul ties often persist because of unforgiveness (of them or yourself).
Forgiveness Ritual:
- Write a letter expressing all your hurt, anger, and disappointment
- Read it aloud (you don’t have to send it)
- Burn the letter safely, releasing the energy
- Write a second letter of forgiveness
- Declare: “I forgive you, I forgive myself, I release this energy.”
3. Energy Cleansing
Physical Cleansing Rituals:
- Salt bath: Add sea salt and essential oils (lavender, rosemary) to a bath
- Smudging: Use sage, palo santo, or incense to cleanse your energy field
- Crystal healing: Carry black tourmaline, selenite, or rose quartz
- Sound healing: Use singing bowls, bells, or frequency music (396 Hz for liberation)
4. Reclaim Your Energy
Soul ties often form when we give away parts of ourselves in relationships.
Energy Reclamation Visualization:
- Close your eyes and breathe deeply
- Visualize all the energy you gave to your ex returning to you as golden light
- See it filling your body, making you whole
- Reclaim qualities you lost: confidence, joy, peace, power
- Affirm: “All that is mine returns to me now. I am complete within myself.”
5. Work With a Healer
Sometimes soul ties require professional support:
- Energy healers or Reiki practitioners
- Shamanic practitioners who do soul retrieval
- Spiritual counselors or ministers
- Therapists trained in somatic work
Karmic Relationships: Understanding the Bigger Picture
Some spiritual traditions believe that certain relationships are karmic rather than soulmate connections.
What Karmic Relationships Are:
- Relationships meant to teach specific life lessons
- Often intense, passionate, and turbulent
- Help you resolve past patterns or behaviors
- Usually not meant to last forever
How to Know If Your Ex Was a Karmic Partner: ✨ The relationship was extremely intense from the start ✨ It brought up deep wounds or patterns ✨ It ended suddenly or dramatically ✨ You learned profound lessons from it ✨ You feel fundamentally changed by the experience
Karmic Dreams: When you dream of a karmic ex kissing you, it often means:
- The lesson is integrating into your consciousness
- You’re completing the karmic cycle
- Your soul is acknowledging the growth you’ve achieved
- The universe is preparing you for your next chapter
How to Complete Karmic Lessons:
- Identify the lesson: What did this relationship teach you?
- Own your part: What patterns did you contribute?
- Integrate the growth: How are you different now?
- Bless and release: Thank the lesson, release the teacher
- Apply the wisdom: Use what you learned in future relationships
How to Stop Dreaming About Your Ex
If these dreams are distressing or preventing you from moving forward, here are proven strategies to reduce or stop them.
Understanding the Timeline
First, set realistic expectations:
- Short relationship (few months): Dreams may stop within 2-6 months
- Long relationship (years): Dreams may continue sporadically for 1-2 years
- Traumatic/intense relationship: May require active healing work and 2+ years
- First love: May appear in dreams occasionally throughout life (usually harmless nostalgia)
Important: The goal isn’t to never think about an ex again—it’s to reach a place where dreams about them no longer disturb your peace.
Practical Strategies
1. Dream Journaling
Why it works: Bringing dreams into conscious awareness helps process them faster.
How to do it:
- Keep a journal by your bed
- Write down the dream immediately upon waking
- Note emotions, symbols, and themes
- Ask: “What is this dream trying to tell me?”
- Look for patterns over time
Benefit: After 2-3 weeks, you’ll often discover what your subconscious is working through, which accelerates healing.
2. Pre-Sleep Intention Setting
Why it works: You can influence your dream content through conscious intention.
Technique: Before bed, repeat: “Tonight I release [ex’s name] from my dreams. I call in peaceful, healing dreams that serve my highest good. I am safe, I am whole, I am free.”
Visualization:
- Imagine a protective bubble around your bed
- See yourself having peaceful, positive dreams
- Affirm that your dream space is sacred and yours alone
3. Improve Sleep Hygiene
Why it works: Stress and poor sleep increase emotional dream content.
Optimize your sleep environment:
- No screens 1 hour before bed
- Keep bedroom cool (65-68°F/18-20°C)
- Use calming scents (lavender, chamomile)
- Practice relaxation before sleep
- Avoid alcohol and heavy meals before bed
4. Process Emotions While Awake
Why it works: Unprocessed emotions come out in dreams.
Active processing techniques:
- Therapy (especially EMDR or somatic therapy)
- EFT Tapping for emotional release
- Journaling about the relationship and breakup
- Creative expression (art, music, poetry)
- Physical release (exercise, dance, yoga)
The rule: Feel it to heal it. Don’t suppress emotions—move through them consciously.
5. Redirect Mental Energy
Why it works: What you focus on expands.
Daily practices:
- Notice when you’re thinking about your ex during the day
- Gently redirect thoughts to present-moment activities
- Create new routines that aren’t associated with them
- Fill your time with engaging, fulfilling activities
- Practice mindfulness meditation
Mantra when thoughts arise: “That was then, this is now. I choose to be present.”
6. Create New Neural Pathways
Why it works: Your brain needs new patterns to replace old ones.
How to rewire your brain:
- Learn something new (language, skill, hobby)
- Meet new people (join clubs, classes, groups)
- Change your environment (rearrange furniture, explore new places)
- Create new rituals (morning routine, evening wind-down)
- Date yourself (take yourself on adventures)
Goal: Build a life so engaging that your brain has better things to dream about.
7. Spiritual Protection Before Sleep
Why it works: Creates energetic boundaries.
Protection practices:
- Pray or set intentions for divine protection
- Visualize white light surrounding you
- Place crystals by your bed (black tourmaline, amethyst)
- Use protection affirmations:
- “My dream space is sacred and protected.”
- “Only loving, healing energy may enter my dreams.”
- “I am divinely guided and protected as I sleep.”
8. When Dreams Are Trauma-Based
If the relationship was abusive or traumatic, special care is needed:
Seek professional help from:
- Trauma-informed therapist (EMDR, somatic experiencing)
- Specialized support groups
- Domestic violence resources (even if the relationship has ended)
Additional techniques:
- Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT): Rewrite the dream with a better outcome
- Lucid dreaming training: Learn to change dreams in real-time
- Safety planning: Create a sense of safety in waking life to reduce nightmares
What If the Dreams Persist?
If you’ve tried these strategies for 6+ months and dreams continue:
Consider:
- There may be deeper work needed → Seek therapy
- The relationship may have been traumatic → Trauma specialist needed
- You may have deeper spiritual blocks → Consider energy healing
- The dreams may be serving a purpose → Explore with curiosity rather than resistance
Acceptance practice: Sometimes the fastest way to stop the dreams is to stop fighting them. When you accept that they’re part of your healing process, they often naturally fade.
Healing Practices and Spiritual Cleansing
Let’s explore advanced spiritual and energetic practices for deep healing from past relationships.
1. Full Moon Release Ritual
Best performed: During the full moon (when lunar energy supports releasing)
What you’ll need:
- White candle
- Piece of paper and pen
- Fireproof bowl
- Sage or palo santo
The ritual:
- Cleanse your space with sage/palo santo
- Light the white candle
- Write everything you’re releasing: emotions, memories, attachments
- Read the list aloud: “I release these energies with love. They no longer serve me.”
- Safely burn the paper in the bowl
- As it burns, visualize the energy leaving your body
- Blow out the candle and give thanks
- Dispose of ashes in running water or earth
Repeat: Monthly until you feel complete.
2. Heart Chakra Healing
Why focus here: The heart chakra holds relationship wounds and attachments.
Signs of heart chakra blockage:
- Difficulty moving on from past relationships
- Fear of intimacy or vulnerability
- Grief that won’t resolve
- Inability to forgive
Healing practices:
A) Rose Quartz Meditation
- Hold rose quartz over your heart
- Visualize green healing light filling your chest
- Affirm: “My heart is healed, whole, and open to love.”
- Practice for 10-15 minutes daily
B) Breathwork
- Place both hands on your heart
- Breathe deeply into your chest
- On exhale, imagine releasing old pain
- On inhale, imagine filling with love and light
C) Sound Healing
- Listen to 639 Hz frequency (heart chakra frequency)
- Chant “YAM” (heart chakra mantra)
- Use singing bowls or tuning forks on chest
3. Ancestral Healing
Concept: Sometimes relationship patterns are generational and need deeper work.
Signs you need ancestral healing:
- Family history of unhealthy relationships
- Repeating the same patterns as parents/grandparents
- Feeling like you’re carrying family pain
Simple ancestral healing practice:
- Research your family’s relationship history
- Identify patterns you want to break
- Declare: “The pattern of [specific pattern] ends with me. I heal this for myself and my lineage.”
- Visualize your ancestors behind you, supporting you
- Thank them and commit to a different path
4. Ho’oponopono (Hawaiian Forgiveness Practice)
Powerful for: Releasing resentment and finding peace
The practice: Repeat these four phrases while thinking of your ex:
- “I’m sorry” (for any pain caused, by you or the situation)
- “Please forgive me” (for any harm, intentional or not)
- “Thank you” (for the lessons and experiences)
- “I love you” (sending compassionate energy)
Important: This is about YOUR healing, not reconciliation. You’re not condoning bad behavior—you’re releasing its hold on you.
How often: Daily for 21 days, then as needed.
5. Create a Vision for Your Future
Why it works: Your subconscious needs something to move TOWARD, not just away from.
Vision practice:
- Journal: Describe your ideal life 1 year from now (without your ex in it)
- Vision board: Create a visual representation of your future
- Daily visualization: Spend 5-10 minutes seeing yourself happy and thriving
- Embody it now: Start living as your future self today
Shift from: “I want to stop thinking about my ex” To: “I’m building a life I’m excited about”
6. Work With Archangels (For Those Spiritually Inclined)
Different archangels can assist with different aspects of healing:
Archangel Michael:
- Protection and cord cutting
- Releasing fear
- Invoke: “Archangel Michael, please cut any cords between me and [ex’s name] that no longer serve my highest good.”
Archangel Raphael:
- Emotional and heart healing
- Restoring inner peace
- Invoke: “Archangel Raphael, please heal my heart and fill me with your emerald light.”
Archangel Chamuel:
- Finding inner peace
- Self-love and acceptance
- Invoke: “Archangel Chamuel, help me find peace and love within myself.”
How to work with them:
- Simply ask for their help (no formal ritual needed)
- Be open to signs and guidance
- Trust the healing process
7. Physical Detox Supports Emotional Detox
Connection: Your emotions are stored in your body. Physical cleansing supports emotional release.
Detox practices:
- Exercise: Moves stagnant energy
- Sweating: Releases toxins and emotions (sauna, hot yoga)
- Hydration: Flushes physical and energetic toxins
- Clean eating: Reduces inflammation, supports mental clarity
- Massage/bodywork: Releases stored trauma from tissues
21-Day Reset: Combine physical and emotional detox:
- Daily exercise
- Clean, whole foods
- No alcohol or substances
- Daily journaling
- Energy clearing practices
Frequently Asked Questions
Is dreaming about my ex kissing me a sign we’ll get back together?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: Dreams are rarely prophetic about relationships. Instead, they’re processing tools for your subconscious. Even if you dream about reconciliation, it’s more likely your brain working through “what if” scenarios than a prediction of the future.
Exception: If BOTH of you are actively working on issues and considering reconciliation in real life, dreams might reflect that possibility—but they’re not causing it.
I’m happily married—why am I dreaming about my ex?
This is more common than you think. It usually means:
- Your brain is filing away old memories
- Something in your current life triggered a memory
- You’re comparing past and present (healthy processing)
- You’re missing a quality your ex had (doesn’t mean you want them back)
- Random neural firing (sometimes dreams are just random)
What it does NOT mean:
- You made a mistake marrying your current partner
- You’re emotionally cheating
- You should contact your ex
- Your marriage is in trouble
Action step: If dreams are persistent, ask yourself if there’s anything you need to communicate to your spouse about your needs in the relationship.
Can my ex feel/know when I dream about them?
Spiritual perspective: Some believe that intense dreams create energetic connections that can be felt by the other person.
Scientific perspective: There’s no evidence that someone can sense when you dream about them.
Middle ground: Whether or not they can feel it, what matters is what the dream means for YOUR healing and growth. Focus on that rather than worrying about energetic connections.
How long after a breakup is it normal to dream about an ex?
Timeline varies based on:
- Relationship length (longer = more dreams)
- Intensity of connection (deeper = longer processing time)
- How it ended (traumatic = more frequent dreams)
- Your attachment style
- Whether you had closure
General timeline:
- Weeks 1-12: Very frequent and emotional dreams (normal)
- Months 3-6: Dreams decrease in frequency
- 6-12 months: Sporadic dreams with less emotional charge
- 1-2 years: Occasional dreams, usually neutral
- 2+ years: Rare dreams, often triggered by specific events
When to be concerned: If dreams are still intense and distressing after 18+ months, consider professional support.
What if I dream about multiple exes?
This can mean:
- You’re in a period of self-reflection about your relationship patterns
- You’re comparing different relationship types to understand what you want
- Your subconscious is processing relationship history as a whole
- You’re in a transition period and reassessing your past
Look for themes:
- Are all the exes similar? You might have a type you need to examine.
- Are they all different? You might be exploring different aspects of yourself.
- Is one dominant? That relationship likely holds the most unfinished business.
Should I reach out to my ex after having this dream?
In most cases: NO.
Don’t contact them if: ❌ The relationship ended badly ❌ You’re feeling emotional or impulsive ❌ Either of you is in a new relationship ❌ You have a pattern of on-again, off-again with this person ❌ The dream was confusing or upsetting
Consider reaching out ONLY if: ✅ Significant time has passed (1+ years) ✅ You have specific, practical closure questions ✅ You’re both single and open to communication ✅ You’ve done extensive healing work ✅ Your intention is clear and healthy (not to rekindle romance)
Better option: Process the dream with a therapist or trusted friend first.
I’m Christian—are these dreams sinful?
Biblical perspective on dreams:
Dreams are not sins. Throughout the Bible, God often communicated through dreams (Joseph, Daniel, Jacob). You cannot sin while sleeping because you have no conscious control.
Scripture for comfort:
- “For God may speak in one way, or in another, yet man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night…” – Job 33:14-15
- “The heart is deceitful above all things… Who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9
Christian perspective on ex dreams:
- They’re a normal part of being human with memories and emotions
- They may be God’s way of revealing areas that need healing
- They can prompt you to pray for healing and wholeness
What to do:
- Pray for peace and understanding
- Ask God to reveal what needs healing
- Practice forgiveness (of yourself and others)
- Trust that God is working in your healing process
If guilt persists: Speak with a Christian counselor who can provide faith-based guidance.
Conclusion: Finding Peace With Your Dreams
If you’ve read this far, you’re clearly seeking real answers and genuine healing. Here’s what I want you to know:
The Bottom Line
Dreaming about your ex kissing you is: ✅ Normal and common ✅ Part of your brain’s healing process ✅ NOT a sign you should get back together (usually) ✅ An opportunity for self-reflection and growth ✅ Temporary—these dreams will fade as you heal
It does NOT mean: ❌ You’re broken or stuck ❌ You’re betraying a current partner ❌ You made a mistake leaving ❌ You’ll never move on ❌ Something is wrong with you
Your Healing Journey
Healing is not linear. Some days you’ll feel completely over your ex, and other days a dream will bring up old feelings. Both are normal.
Remember:
- Be patient with yourself
- Honor your emotions without judgment
- Trust the process
- Focus on growth, not perfection
- Celebrate small victories
What To Do Next
- Journal about your dream using the prompts in this article
- Identify what your soul is trying to tell you
- Choose 2-3 healing practices to implement this week
- Be gentle with yourself as you process
- Seek support if dreams are causing significant distress
A Final Message
Your subconscious is wise. These dreams—frustrating as they may be—are actually proof that you’re healing. Your mind is working through complex emotions, releasing old energies, and making room for new love (of yourself and potentially others).
The kiss in your dream isn’t about your ex.
It’s about you learning to:
- Love yourself more deeply
- Trust your intuition
- Set better boundaries
- Honor your needs
- Embrace your wholeness
You don’t need your ex’s love, validation, or presence to be complete. You never did.
The spiritual truth? You were always whole. You just forgot for a while.
Sweet dreams, dear one. You’ve got this. 💫
Additional Resources
Books
- “The Wisdom of Your Dreams” by Jeremy Taylor
- “Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood
- “Attached” by Amir Levine (understanding attachment styles)
- “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
Professional Support
- Psychology Today: Find a therapist in your area
- BetterHelp/Talkspace: Online therapy options
- EMDR Therapist Directory: For trauma processing
- Energy Healing Practitioners: Look for certified Reiki masters or shamanic practitioners
Apps & Tools
- Insight Timer: Meditation and healing practices
- Dream Journal Ultimate: Track and analyze dreams
- Calm/Headspace: Guided meditations for letting go
About This Article: This comprehensive guide combines psychological research, spiritual wisdom, and practical healing strategies to help you understand and move beyond dreams of your ex. Written with compassion for anyone on the journey of healing from past relationships.
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Share Your Experience: Have you experienced dreams about your ex kissing you? What helped you find peace? Share your story in the comments to help others on their healing journey.
Pin This: Save this guide for whenever these dreams resurface, so you can remember you’re not alone and you have tools to navigate the emotions.
🌙 May you find peace, closure, and joy on your journey. 🌙
Last Updated: November 2025 | Reading Time: 12 minutes Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you’re experiencing persistent distress, please consult a licensed therapist.